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6:00-6:30 A.M. – Holy Cam
Webcam views of the world’s religious centers.

6:30-7:00 A.M. – Seven to Zero
The day’s greatest sports screw-ups.

7:00-7:30 A.M. – Screaming About Business
John W. Borek II, moderator.

7:30-8:30 A.M. – Today’s A F**king Disaster
World news.

8:30-9:00 A.M. – Free Masonry
Home repair with union masons.

9:00-10:00 A.M. – Which One of You Bitches is My Daughter?
Discussion about the feminine mystique.

10:00-10:30 A.M. – Queen For A Day
Gossip about men by men.

10:30-11:00 A.M. – Artsy Fartsy
New trends among artists and artisans.

11:00 A.M.-12:00 P.M. – Bomb!
Music, plays, and books that fell off the edge of the world.

12:00-1:00 P.M. – Cooking with the Marquesa
Tiara-based home cooking in Tuscany.

1:00-1:30 P.M. – Thinking About Meat
The no-vegetables-allowed cooking show.

1:30-2:00 P.M. – Beer, Politics, and Fried Chicken
Food and Political Detente featuring food fights between liberals and conservatives.

2:00-3:00 P.M. – Judge Sara
Viewers judge judges and decide on home confinement. Judge Sara is your host.

3:00-3:30 P.M. – The Philosopher’s Stoned
Grooving on the sixties with drug burns.

3:30-4:00 P.M. – Monkey Sees
Interviews with today’s monkeys.

4:00-4:30 P.M. – Finger Puppet Theater
Presenting Eugene O’Neill’s “Desire Under the Elms.”

4:30-5:00 P.M. – It’s Greek to Me
The International Monetary Fund comedy revue.

5:00-5:30 P.M. – I’m Beat!
Bringing back Maynard G. Krebs and fifties poetry.

5:30-6:00 P.M. – Today’s A F**king Disaster
Local edition.

6:00-6:30 P.M. – Louder
Exploring new music and hearing loss.

6:30-7:00 P.M. – Kid Realtor
Touring the world’s most expensive properties with the world’s youngest realtor.

7:00-7:30 P.M. – Developing Nations Talent Search

7:30-8:00 P.M. – Sibylization
The game show where you get to predict the future by learning about the past!

8:00-9:00 P.M. – Smart People
The reality show with smart people, by smart people, for smart people.

9:00-9:30 P.M. – Milliner Zeke’s Wonder-Lab Jamboree
Reproductions of classic plays, rewritten and performed by the theatrically deranged.

9:30-10:00 P.M. – Personal Chemistry
First dates with scientists.

10:00-11:00 P.M. – Oh Mike God!
Impressions of G-d by America’s foremost character actor.

11:00-11:30 P.M. – World News Round-Up from Madrid

11:30 P.M.-12:30 A.M. – Jay Leno Has Too Much Money
Hosted by The Moosies.

12:30-1:00 A.M. – Profiles in Failure
Hosted by John W. Borek, Producer.

1:00-1:30 A.M. – An Extra Terrestrial
Dating Creatures from Outer Space. Hosted by Klaatu and Friends.

1:30-6:00 A.M. – Grouch Potato with The Adjunct of Funk
Programs illegally downloaded off of rival stations.